echo chambers, isolationism, the void of it all

My life, having been (and am) a lone person, one who lives with/around no one, and having "only" the WWW for communication (99% of the time, no exageration, and it's as "bad" as it sounds), when things "slow down" online, I'm just *without*.

Nothing to interrupt or break up the time to indicate "this is what is HAPPENING and this is what you should be DOING". It's like wild stabs at reality to discertain what to make of what, with no feedback.

Isolation brought me to a trance-like state in Dec 2022. Like blacking out, but with consciousness. Near all mental cognitive function became enveloped in loneliness and abandonment.

Before/after that (I don't remember), I sat on the floor of my bedroom, knowing the holidays would be void of activity, and felt unyielding anguish that made me feel, in fact, that I was *supposed* to be dead in that moment, but wasn't.

It's no wonder these things lead to psychopaths :(

And I can see where social media exacerbates one's loneliness, too. Throwing out "thing after thing" and everyone just hurriedly ignoring it, while going on about their own things, their own lives, and (for the popular "accounts") hamming it up about...whatever.

Thank God social media is near it's end. Twitter is disintegrating, Meta bleeds money, no one wants anything to do with it (other than those facilitating an addiction).

But it, isolation, in real life, is unparalled to it's torment.

Be safe, and don't get into those situations. Figure out what you (in this case me) need to do. Do it.

Be good :)
The anguish of which you write is of a self enduring itself, i.e. a self in time.

Find it if you can.

A serious effort to find it reveals there is no such thing.

Reminds "me" (haha) of a Jim Morrison lyric:

"The only solution.. ISN'T IT AMAZING?!?!!!"

"Self" needs a solution. Turns out the only one that works is the absence of said self.

Yes, it is amazing.
Woah - the emotional shackles of self, and the ever-looming justification(s) that need be made for them :/